Let’s talk about your Birth Story.
Be it Positive Negative or everything in between.
Why it matters, and what you can do to support yourself well.
Wherever you are on your Birth Healing Journey, I hope you find it reassuring to know that there are people out there who understand – people who genuinely care about you and your story – people who are trained, skilled and experienced in holding a safe space for you and your healing transformation.
There are communities of people set up to support you – people who have lived experiences similar to yours, who can truly empathise and shine a light of hope that you are not alone, and this does get easier. Please know – nothing is too small or insignificant – that all your feelings are worthy of acknowledgement – you are definitely not crazy or selfish – you are important – and your story matters.
You may have experienced a traumatic birth physically, psychologically or both. It’s helpful to be aware that someone who has had a similar experience may not feel this way and that is totally ok. We are all individuals and it is how you feel about your experience that makes a difference to your life, as a mother, a partner, a woman and especially if you are hoping/planning to birth again.
Please note – if you are concerned about your mental or physical health it is important to talk to your GP – many women are ashamed of expressing unwanted feelings around the birth of their child and/or embarrassed and unsure if their physical symptoms are normal or not. You are not alone – help is available – the best and bravest step you can take for you and your family is to seek professional support, sooner rather than later.
Where to begin – a birth debriefing, preferably with a professional who was present at your birth is the best place to start. It helps to request this service of your care provider before the birth and can be included in your birth plan. If its too late for this to occur, then requesting access to your medical records and a professional, such as a midwife or doula to go over these with you, can help you to understand what has happened and why. This can clarify any nagging questions or gaps in your memory – it can provide you with a deeper medical understanding of the unfolding of events.
Birth Debriefing may provide the clarification you need for your Birth Story to be understood and integrated into your new state of being and awareness. Other times it will clarify for you that things were not as you would have wanted or expected them to be and with reasons that can’t be justified or don’t sit well with you. You may want to seek further information from your care providers, this can be a challenging and emotional experience. Engaging independent support can help ease the pressure you are under.
You may feel that your care providers did their best under the given circumstances but still be holding onto many strong emotions that are difficult to understand and process. It is time to seek further support, it is important to see a therapist who specialises in Birth – rather than a general counsellor, psychologist or health professional. Practitioners who specialise in Birth have the understanding and experience you need to bring about positive change.
You may choose a psychologist or counsellor, but this is not the limit of choices available to you – you may even feel that they are not the right choice for your situation. There are other options available therapies such as Kinesiology, Sound Healing, Reiki, Coaches and Healers are a few of the alternative options available to you.
Birth Story Listening is the creation of Pam England of Birthing from Within, this is a specific process to facilitate your Birth Healing Journey. Qualified Birthing from Within Mentors often have other skills to support your journey such as Birth Art Mentoring and Birth Education, this can be especially helpful if you are preparing for another baby.
Birth Story Listening starts with one full session and a follow up session to see how you are going – it’s such an effective therapy that often only one session is needed. If more sessions are recommended or desired this can be discussed after the first session.
Personally, I find that one of the most important keys to the facilitation of healing is the connection between the two people working together. It is important to be a good match for each other for the sessions to be effective. If you feel comfortable and at ease this is a great start.
As a Birth Story Listener and Birth Art Mentor, the important first step to working with me is to have a good 15-20 minute phone conversation so we can begin to understand where you are on your journey and the steps we could take to move forward together.
What about the women who have had their personal best experience of Birth – how can they harness the power and integrate the lessons and growth deeply into their being, when they also can find it difficult to share their story. Birth Story listening is a blessing for the full range of Birth experiences – Deep Listening is a skill and a gift to anyone who has the benefit of experiencing it. This is the art of Birth Story Listening – you are held – you are heard – healing and growth are natural results of the process – no one is “doing” the “healing” it simply evolves of itself that is where its true power lies. I invite you to call me – lets talk about your Birth Story. Love, Blessings & Appreciation
Daniella is a Certified Life Coach, Natural Intuitive and Newborn Mothers trained Postpartum Doula. Her greatest passion and the present focus of her work is as a Birth Story Listener and Birth Art Mentor trained with Birthing from Within. Birth Art Circles are her own creation, you can find further information on her website. All services are available online via Zoom, with Birth Art Circles offered by arrangement and/or throughout the year in person and online.