Healing Trauma through a “Healing Birth”

Healing Trauma through a “Healing Birth”

“She sits in the dark clutching her baby as tears roll down her face. Her physical wounds are healed but it still doesn’t feel “right”. She doesn’t feel normal. Not completely herself. She looks at her child and remembers the day that was supposed to be the greatest day of her life when she met her baby for the first time. But instead of being filled with joy, she is filled with hurt…anguish…deep sadness. As her fingers trace the scar that remains, the negative thoughts and feelings flood her mind”

Currently, 1 in 5 women will experience perinatal depression and anxiety in Australia. Further, 1 in 10 partners will experience postnatal depression. With induction, episiotomy, and caesarean section rates at all-time highs, society more disconnected, and social media pressuring women to be the “perfect mum”, mental health issues will continue to worsen.

So, how do we ensure our birth experience is a positive one? As women we need to prioritise our care and experience, invest the time and money worthy of this moment we will recall for the rest of our lives.

“Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.” – Albert Einstein

After supporting many women to achieve a healing birth, I feel this is MY most important role as a midwife. The sheer elation and joy each woman has, the natural high that lasts not only weeks, but months and years, the look in their eyes as they finally feel they have transitioned into motherhood and are whole again.

To begin the journey to a healing birth requires remembering the past hurt. It is a pivotal first step to take the opportunity to share your story, identify its impact on you, and plan for how you can use it, to shape an alternative experience this time. Partners need to be involved in this process as they are often traumatised by the same experience and this can lead them to hold apprehension throughout subsequent pregnancies, if not supported to address their own experience and feelings. Debriefing is continuous throughout your pregnancy as you reflect and move forward together.

A key part to achieving a healing birth is the choice of care provider. Someone that truly and empathetically listens to your every concern, provides positive support, believes in your ability, and is aligned with your belief system.

Research consistently shows that pregnancy and birth outcomes are improved by providing women with one-on-one care by a skilled midwife, otherwise known as continuity of care. Within this paradigm, you are provided the opportunity to develop an intimate connection with your midwife, explore the many facets of pregnancy, birth and parenting and be supported to make informed decisions. The ideal midwife is one you can implicitly trust to uphold your wishes and advocate these on your behalf, they will massage your back, wipe your brow, and have the clinical skills and experience to keep you and your baby safe. They will provide personalised care and education, help you work through fears, give you new strategies to utilise and be there to answer your call at all hours.

If you are unable to access continuity of care with a midwife, work hard to find another way to ensure familiar and ongoing support. Listen to your intuition and don’t be afraid to ask the difficult questions when choosing a caregiver or support person.

Choosing the right care provider for you and your circumstances, is the most important decision you can make.

At the end of the day, this is YOUR body and YOUR baby, and will be YOUR birth experience. Ask questions, read, listen, keep an open mind, and grow your knowledge so that every decision you make is an informed one.

Our scars will always remain, but rather than being a symbol of what we feel is wrong, a healing birth will transform them into a reminder of the strength of our convictions and the courage we hold deeply.

By Haley Weir,

Private Midwife.

Founder of “Nurturing Birth in the Hunter”